Managed to do a 5 mile walk in 1 hour 45 minutes with a good friend along the waterfront and climb some pretty steep hills on the way back (awesome). I convinced her to go to Yoga with me on Thursday night, which is good, because I am starting to love yoga again!
See, the Peddy don't lie:
(Thank you Fat Girl vs. World: no more backwards photos here!)
After I got home from my super long walk, I concluded that this post-workout feeling is better than any feeling that stuffing my face with any kind of food would give me. I'm still very angry at myself for letting myself get that much out of control, that obese, that fat! I would literally binge until I could no longer eat. Then I would get horribly sick, and 1/4 of the time it would result in me throwing up - either from being too full, or I had managed to poison myself. This sounds really twisted, I realize that - but a short 5 months ago, this was me.
I love that I've embraced this new lifestyle and have begun to put myself first in life. I know I can't change the past - but I spent most of my 25 years overweight or obese. Why did it take me so long to snap out of it and take control of my life? I still cannot figure out why it was that I did this to myself - why did I binge and over-eat? What underlying psychological problem lead me to this? I would consider myself a fairly strong individual / personality, I didn't choose to lose weight so that I could "find myself" or figure out the "real me". I already know who I am and really like the person I've turned out to be in life. So why then did I torture myself with food.
Still a mystery to me. Waiting for that "ah ha" moment to strike...
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