Feeling Off

Folks, I am feeling lost.

Tomorrow is my weigh in.

For me, this whole journey is about much more than losing weight - it is about gaining control and taking back my life.

Today started off well - I went to see the Harry Potter matinee this afternoon with a bag of snow peas, some chee cha puffs and a couple mandrin oranges. But I didn't track. Why? because I woke up this morning only to find that I was 85 points over my weekly allowance for Weight Watchers. And my attitude towards this: why bother?

Everything sort of snowballed today, after getting a 3/5 on my latest school assignment - it kicked me into an "I don't give a rat's a$$" mode. Not good. As a result of my pissy attitude, I didn't go to the gym, I ate OK (but didn't track) and have been just plain down on myself.

See, I have been thinking a lot about the bigger picture - you know - what life will be like when I am at 130 lbs, when I have my Masters degree, when I hit 30...

I want more than to just acquire this stuff in life - I want more - something significant - but what what does this "more" entail?

Maybe all that green tea I have been drinking has gotten into my head, maybe it was Harry Potter, or maybe I am just having a bad day and tomorrow all this pissy-ness will go away and I will wake up and be content. *sigh*

Let's hope that I just need a good nights sleep.