Redefining "Spoiling Myself"

I did a lot of thinking today about my eating habits and compared my old eating habits with my new eating habits and noticed one specific difference. I have learned, growing up as a French-Canadian with parents who have instilled very french-like characteristics into my development as a person, to always have a strong value of "work hard, play harder". Everyone in my family is incredibly hard-working and rewards themselves at the end of a long working day or on the weekend with a few glasses of fine wine, french cheese, fancy desserts, fine liquors, and well... I think you get my point here. I have grown up with the notion that I should reward myself by "spoiling myself" after a hard days or weeks work.

See this form of "spoiling" is OK for my family members and most of them are not overweight as a result of this cultural characteristic, however, they have the ability to eat just 1 or 2 pieces of brie and french bread or just 2 or 3 glasses of fine wine. I, on the other hand, consume 10 - 12 pieces of brie and bread, or 6 - 7 glasses of fine wine. I really have no ability to control my portions.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that, while I still think it is very, very important to work hard and play harder, I need to re-define my idea of what it means to reward myself. A one-hour yoga class can feel just as good as a glass of red wine and a cup of green tea can be just as soothing as ice cream - can't it? I certainly need to start believing this if I don't want to feel deprived on and after my weight-loss journey.

That is where my food efforts will be for the next little while.

On the workout front: I have to say that I am one brilliant individual. I downloaded the entire Biggest Loser Season 8 (all episodes) and began watching it today on the bus on the way home and at the gym. First off, my commute home after work is 1.5 hours on the bus - and I watched the first episode (and shed some tears) which worked out perfectly because the episodes are each 1 hour and 20 minutes each. After watching episode one on the bus I was totally motivated to get my butt to the gym and when I got there this evening I watched episode 2 while given'r on the elliptical and was able to burn 700 calories in a mere 60 minutes. It was so awesome, watching the BL totaly distracted me and kept me from getting board! I was swimming in sweat and keeping up a pace of 140 - 150. I totally rocked it. This new BL/ ipod/ elliptical system I have going on is going to help me get to 200 pounds, and I'm going to enjoy losing every one of those little buggars!

Lastly, I just wanted to comment that my stress level is quite high right now as this weekend I have to finish a 25-page paper that is due for school (and I've only written about 8 pages. This paper has been hanging over my head all term and I am just dreading it. It my absolute final paper to hand in for the program I am in, and have been in this program for the last 3 years! I just want it over and done with. I want to focus on my exercising this weekend, but am afraid this is going to consume all my time. I really hope this doesn't prevent me from dropping some serious poundage this week - when I weighed in today, I was still at 215... YIKES!