Not Quite Goal, but I'll Take It!

Alright, here I am back at home - man it is good to be home after a weekend trip (although I am not looking forward to work tomorrow).

Again, I didn't have a chance to workout tonight, but I did go to the gym to weigh myself as today was the official weigh in... drumroll please... 194 lbs today. My goal for the end of the month was to be at 193, so I'm one pound heavier than my goal, but I am still very happy with the loss and am thrilled that I managed to loose 39 lbs in a mere 3 months.

Let's take a look at where I got to with the rest of my May goals:

MAY 2010

1.) Break 200 and get into Onederland. CHECK - I did this twice!

2.) Fit comfortably into my size-14 black work pants. CHECK

3.) Reduce boobage to 38 DD. CHECK

4.) Increase Elliptical resistance to 6 by May 31. CHECK

5.) Be at 193 pounds by May 31. NOT QUITE - MADE IT TO 194

6.) Be able to run without stopping at a speed of 5.5 on the treadmill for 2 full minutes. FAIL

7.) Do weights at the gym for 30 minutes at least once/ week (Saturdays): TOTAL FAIL

Reward for Completing All Goals: Party with lots of drinks. CHECK and CHECK - Sex and the City 2 Party - super fun! Probably the reason why I didn't make it to 193 lbs too...

Tomorrow I'll be updating my June goals, which are going to be more focused on fitness than on weight. I cannot believe that I have been doing this for three months. The time has just flown by and I feel so fantastic! If you'll remember, the trigger to me starting this whole weight loss journey was a mere conversation with my mother. She was right - once you start losing weight, other things in life just start falling into place and life gets better. I read in a magazine today, an article about the 7 keys to success, one of the keys was: "Listen to your mother, she will always be right in the end". Point taken mr. success!

Looking Back... Feeling Like Carp

So, the end-of-month reward party I attended was excellent fun. I loved being with my good friends and kicking back and letting loose. I drank a lot and even ate pizza! I tracked everything though and for that day, I managed to consume a total of 60 points! Yaowza! That's alright though because I had saved all my weekly and activity points for this party - so I am still within my points for this week.

However, the next day I felt like total carp! I can't belive how terrible eating can seriously affect how I feel. I have no desire to go back to making myself feel like carp - I much prefer eating healthy, exercising and living well. I learned an important lesson that day - I don't like my old lifestyle and never want to go back to it. I am now SURE that I am on the right track and headed in the right direction in life.

Didn't manage to get a workout in on Friday or Saturday (obviously) but I woke up this morning and did a 1 hour power walk and am now back to feeling like my healthy self.

Going shopping today to try to find some clothes that fit me as I am no longer an XL! Just an L.

Hope you are all having an excellent weekend and many thanks for your positive comments on my last post. I love that you guys have my back - in good times and bad times! You rock!

Stomach Pains of Death!

Today I have a horrid stomach ache.

Let me explain why I did this to myself.

I came in to work today to find a chocolate cake sitting in the lounge. The cake is the size of the coffee table and weighs about 15 pounds. I opened the door this morning and was like, "oh crap!". PLUS, I am all alone at work today and there was a note beside the cake that reads "If this cake is not finished by Friday, May 28th, please throw away".

I have never been one to waste cake - sooo....

I ate a piece! And not just a small piece - a big one:



I got about 1/2 way through the cake then decided just to eat the icing (my favourite part) and toss the rest. So, in all I had about half that piece and counted it as about 10 points (but this is a total guesstimate). Seriously, I know better than to do this to myself. It was just one moment of weakness with no one here to hold me accountable! Dammit!

Now I am sitting here at work with some seriously bad stomach pains and I can feel the bloating set in. I hope it all dissipates before the big party tonight. Guess I'm not going to be drinking as much wine as I initially planned to drink.

Here's where my twisted logic comes into play. After devouring the pile of chocolate icing, I decided to balance it out a bit. So now I am eating a tub of orange slices



and a plate of fruit.



I'm hoping this will make up for the cake... but I know it won't. Thank goodness the weekend it almost here! I need to get away from this cake! I am so disappointed in myself - I haven't given in to cake in 3 months!

What will I do now? I'm going to go for a power walk on my lunch hour.

Party Time!

So very excited for my party tomorrow! I've got a busy weekend planned - so i've got to be extra conscious of what I eat and how I work out!

A Non-Scale Victory occurred for me today - I had both a lunch and dinner meeting at work and I managed to refrain from going over my daily points allowance. I was tempted to go for the chips and dip so many times, and the pasta, but I just kept reminding myself that tomorrow is my big party and I have been working too hard to blow all my weekly points on a silly plate of pasta - wine is so much better!

Then on Saturday, I am off to the Interior to visit the family and help out with a garage sale. Also! I have Monday off work, which means that I have another short work week! Yippie!

Lastly, the scale was very kind to me tonight when I hopped on 'er to see where I'm at: 195! What! Really!?! It's not official as today was not my weigh in day, but that does mean that I am only 2 lbs away from my end-of-month-goal... if tonight weighing is accurate!

Developing a Fitter Version of Me!

Ok bloggies! I am declaring that for the next three months (the entire summer) I am going to focus on making my body the fittest it has ever been before. I want to be in seriously good shape by the time summer is over. Thus, no more excuses for not going to the gym and getting my daily workouts in. From here on out, I will make an effort to get at least 1 full hour of cardio in every day - rain or shine, grumpy or happy. I deserve to be fit and take time to myself every day and I am going to make this happen! Just wait until you see what my monthly fitness goals are for June - they will blow you away!

As for today - it has been an emotional few weeks, but all this is ending tomorrow and my life will suddenly become much more simplistic and this - as I have calculated - will allow me to turn my complete focus onto myself. I did manage to get to the gym tonight (after not going yesterday) and put in a 30 minute elliptical workout, but am a little mad at myself because I know I could have done more. I dont like this feeling of personal regret - so from here on out I will not allow myself to put myself into situations where regret of I WISH I DID MORE... litters the thoughts in my brain.

On a more positive note, I have so many social events planned for the coming weeks (which is so unlike my loner self). Not only am I going on two mini-weekend holidays, one to the Okanagan and the other to Toronto (and possibly one to San Fransisco - these plans are not solidified as of yet), but also, as part of my end of month reward (which I dedicated to be a party with lots of drinks) I am attending a Sex and the City 2 party with some really good friends and I know I am going to have a wonderful time! I cannot wait (the party is this friday). It is about time I started showing off and enjoying this lean mean killing machine of a body I have sculpted over the last three months! I can not wait to report back to you all on what my friends say about my new body! Stay tuned!

Cheers bloggies!

And the Award Goes to...

ME!



Today I received my very first Blogging award and am so happy. A big thank you to Sylvia at Big Steps 2 Take for passing the award along - it totally made my day!

As part of receiving the award I must list seven things about me that ya'll don't already know and pass the award on to seven more deserving bloggers.

First - 7 things you don't know about me:

1.) Most of my clothes are black - and not because I am "goth" but because I think black makes me look skinny. For example, this was my outfit today:



2.) My favourite colour is pink
3.) My favourite food is tacos with loads of sour cream and salsa
4.) I am terrified of live fish (any kind). This fear stems from my first encounter with the terribly large and ugly fish at the Vancouver Aquarium, which looks like this
5.) I have never been to Europe, but have been to Australia and South America
6.) I love school and if I won the lottery I would be a university student for life
7.) I was born with perfect teeth and to this day have never had a cavity :) See:



I am passing the Beautiful Blogger Award onto seven bloggers who I regularly follow and think that if you are not already following them, you should definitely check them out:

1.) Toni at Stackofpennies
2.) Cass at Finding my Beauty
3.) Katie at Food for the Soul
4.) Amanda at Busting Through It
5.) Alice at Mommy Blog
6.) Michelle at the Garlic Chronicles
7.) Amy at Amy's Quest to Skinny

Now, the plan for tonight - work out while watching the Season Finale of the Biggest Loser!

Curve Ball!

As mentioned in my last post, to make it to my monthly goal at the end of next week, I have got to lose 4 pounds this week. Since I lost 4 pounds last week, I figure if I stick to the same plan as last week (eating and exercising-wise) I should be able to drop another 4 lbs.

However, I was thrown a curve ball this morning when I entered my new weight - I no longer am able to eat a daily points allowance of 28 points - I must have reached a new category in weight watchers because I am now only allowed 26 points! I'll admit that I am slightly worried that I won't be able to eat within a mere 26 points. I guess it's time to crack down on the snacking!

Looking back, can you believe I have lost 1/3 of the weight I have set out to lose? 36/100 pounds lost! That is amazing, especially in just 3 months! Mind you, it's been 3 long months, but still... only 2/3 to go...

Gotta love a three-day weekend, I have been so productive this weekend it is ridiculous. I am set for the week!

Oh - and here's a picture of what I ate for dinner tonight (stir-fry) - sooo good!

Walking the Walk

When your fat, lululemon is your best friend. Because regular clothes like jeans, dress pants and nice sweaters fit one day and then the next they are too tight - lulumemon (or any kind of spandex-based clothing for that matter) will almost always fit you - even if you gain 5 or 10 pounds.

Consequently, for as long as I can remember my weekend attire consist of lululemon pants, basic XL t-shirt and a black sweater (because, after all black is slimming). To be honest, I know this spandex looks awful on me as it clings to my body and thunder thighs, and really who am I fooling - up until three months ago I was never on my way to the gym or going for a brisk walk on the weekend.

Well - now all that has changed. I still wear my spandex outfit on the weekends BUT now, I wear them because I am actually on my way to or coming from the gym, or a walk on the beach, or some sort of physical activity.

I, ladies and gentleman, am no longer a fraud - I am an athletic person and therefore it is appropriate for me to wear workout clothing on a regular basis. I am walking the walk and am no longer ashamed:



The best news of all: Results from the weigh-in tonight: 197 lbs! Down 4 pounds from last weeks weigh-in. I am so thrilled and also nervous that I wont make my monthly goal of being 193 lbs by May 31st (with only one weigh in and one week to go)... Guess I'm going to have to be strict this week with both my eating and exercise.

Focusing on Food

I have blogged about my inability to cook in the past - so it comes as no surprise that a lot of the food I have been eating while on weight watchers is pre-packaged processed food. I know, I know, it's horrible - full of sodium and other ugly things. In the last few days I have really stepped it up and started making my own meals (especially dinners) and using fresh ingredients AND experimenting with different sauces and food combinations - it's really quite fun. I made a trip to Choices Market earlier this week, got inspired and picked up all sorts of healthy foods. Having healthy food in my home is key to me eating well and staying on plan (and losing weight!). I'm slowly weening myself off of frozen pre-packaged foods and I'm getting there. Slow and steady wins the race right?

So, without further adieu, I will present to you the top three food items on my list right now of favourite foods:

Non-Fat Greek Yogurt: (LOVE this stuff):


What do I use this on you ask, well, I use it on chili, baked potatoes, I mix it with vinaigrette dressings and put it on chicken and with home-made burritos. It's only 2 points per half cup too! I even think that it's better than sour cream!

Nandos Peri-Peri Sauce:


Man oh man, I am a sauce addict. I'm also a Nando's Chicken addict - I'm not sure how popular Nandos (a restaurant) is in other parts or Canada and the US - but it's excellent! I use this sauce mainly on stir-fry's (thank you Cassandra) and on meats as a marinade. What's more: this sauce is 1 point for 10 teaspoons - works for me!

And last but not least - I for some reason, cannot for the life of me cook real rice, so in stir-fry's I use a little help from Uncle Ben:


Uncle ben has my back! Half this microwaveable package is 2 points.

I also managed to get my arse to the gym again tonight - i'm feeling pretty good, especially after my 1 hour elliptical cardio workout! I'm just hoping that i'm under the 200 lb mark tomorrow when I weigh in and more importantly: I STAY THERE THIS TIME!

I admit that I live under a rock a bit and am not really "with it" - but for the first time last week I say that Beyonce and Lady Gaga phone music video and have to say that it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Don't really understand it. Random bit of information I know, but just thought i'd share.

Short and Sweet

Short and sweet here:

1.) I am emotionally drained from today and am crossing my fingers that all this crap that is going on in my life will be over by Sunday - I've made arrangements so, if everything goes according to plan, I will be in the clear!

2.) I still managed to go to the gym tonight - and feel great (and sweaty).

3.) Stayed on plan today (within my daily allowance).

4.) Peeked at the scale tonight which told me I weigh 198... looking good for weigh-in on Monday :)

More updates tomorrow. And, I'll post some pics of the greek yogurt I am in love with!

Nom nom nom.

A+ Dinner Tonight - Made by Yours Truly

Today was an excellent day! It started off a little weird though - on my way into work my legs were so antsy - it was weird it was like they were mad at me for not making them move the night before. I felt like I either needed to run a marathon or go to A & W for a "Breakfast Sandwich". I just felt very uncomfortable and I didn't know how to get myself back into that "normal" state. Funny that the first remedy I think of when I feel not normal is "I should eat something really fatty". Thank goodness I reserved myself at Starbucks and just got a green tea.

I managed to do a full 1 hour cardio workout at the gym tonight (feeling like my old self again) and I had an excellent dinner which consisted of wok fried broccoli and mushrooms with shrimp and my favourite stir fry sauce (only available for those of us lucky enough to live in Vancouver): The Naam Miso Gravey. My 6-point dinner was totally awesome, delicious and incredibly healthy - LOVE it!

Here's what my dinner looked like:



Man I love broccoli and mushrooms... if I was on a dessert island and could eat one healthy thing for the rest of my life - it would be what I just ate for dinner tonight - yup - it was THAT good!

Oh man was it good. I'm looking forward to the long weekend this weekend - going to catch up on some homework, clean my apartment and work out like there is no tomorrow. Don't you just love how you feel when you work out? It's addicting really! Also, my gym is undergoing renovations, so gave all of us on an unlimited monthly pass an extra two weeks - two free weeks at the gym = a very happy Lisa!

Trying New Things...

Today, instead of the gym I decided to focus on healthy eating.

When I opened my fridge this morning in preparation for work, I was surprised to notice that all I had in there was the three turkey chili portions I put together yesterday and a whack load of sauces. I've come to realize that it is important to have healthy food stocked in my home at all times - so tonight I went on a healthy food shopping extravaganza to some of the "health food" stores in town.

For some reason I remember Choices Market as being overly expensive, but tonight I noticed that their prices are not too bad, especially on organic foods. There were lots of sales so I picked up all sorts of new, interesting and Weight Watcher friendly foods. I was super excited to try this low fat mocha-flavoured yogurt - but when I actually had it for dessert tonight, I must say it was pretty disappointing!



I love the plain non-fat yogurt, but every store I go to - they are always sold out (no doubt - i'm not the only one on this greek yogurt wagon!) Hence me trying a flavoured greek yogurt...

I think the trade-off of healthy food shopping instead of the gym tonight was a good one. I feel relaxed and have an excellent energy level which I think will help carry me through the hump day and onto the later part of the week.

I really need to get back into the mentality of putting myself first again - for some reason I've gotten off track with putting myself as the main priority in my life. I hereby declare that I will avert back to my selfish ways and start focusing on myself once again.

Fun with Turkey Chili!

Today was an overall good day for me - it's about time I had a good day too! I came home from work and made and ate my turkey chili which I have been wanting to make for weeks now and finally made the time to do it. A word to the wise - never make a dinner that takes long to cook when you are starving. I had to wait until 7pm to gobble down that chili, and as a result of waiting too long I ate too much - well more than I planned on eating but I still remained within my daily WW points allowance. I was planning on eating 2 cups but it was just so good that I had to eat 3 cups AND a cup of fat free greek yogurt (aka my new life saviour).

Here's what it looked like (I don't have a camera - so I use my imac to take photos - this is why all my photos are such poor quality):



The good thing is that I made so much chili I was able to put 3 portions aside in the fridge for dinner for the next three days (whoo hoo - dinner pre-made until Friday is the best thing in the world!). This way, I just come home, heat up my Chili and I am good to go (2 cup chili portions too - with of course, greek yogurt). This way I can eat on time and not eat too much due to me thinking that I am starving marvin!

After the delicious chili, as I was getting into my lululemon pants, the fat girl inside me leaped out and took control of my brain, and I literally stood in my room fighting with myself whether or not I should go to the gym. Eventually the skinny girl in me won (thank gawd) and I dragged my fat arse to the gym! Boy am I glad that I did too - tonight is Tuesday and, well, you know what that means - the Biggest Loser is on for 2 whole hours. It was perfect - the contestants were running a marathon on today's episode and it totally inspired me to get a handle on where I am at with my running skills.

Well - the bad news is that my running skills stinks, I still cannot run for 2 minutes straight (although - I can run for a full minute and a half) but the good news is that I stayed on that treadmill for 110 minutes, burned 700 calories and walked a total distance of 6.25 miles - which is not too shabby for me.

I was experimenting with training techniques tonight and for at least every 1 of 10 minutes that I was on the treadmill, I made myself run the full minute. So for example, I would walk for 9 minutes, then run for 1, walk 9, run 1, you get the picture.

I think if I keep with this training module - and slowly increase the time periods that I run, I should be able to do that 5K at the end of June no problemo. Today, the 5K was completed in 54 minutes. I'll do this again on Thursday and keep trying to improve my time as best I can.

I love that i'm back at 'er - I feel so good and am ready to leave the 200's permanently!

WTF!?! A GAIN!

Official weigh in was tonight and I GAINED 2 pounds! I guess not working out and eating at subway everyday for a week has it's downfalls! I am so angry about this gain - I had just gotten under 200 lbs and now my weight is 201! Buggar!

The good news is that I went to the gym again tonight (second night in a row ). Even though I only did the 50 minutes of cardio as opposed to the full hour I usually do - I was able to work up a serious sweat! And I mean it was serious. I can tell my running is improving - I feel smaller, which makes running a much easier task to complete. However, I still haven't reached my goal of the month - to be able to run for 2 minutes straight. Don't worry people, there is still time, there is still 12 days left in May and i'm almost there.

I'm feeling like May is a bust *sigh* but am going to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back into it. I've been staying on plan, tracking everything I eat, but I know that I have to start making better choices. So, for tomorrow, I am going to make a turkey chili which I am super excited about - I bought all the ingredients today and even have some greek yogurt in the fridge (which has been a saviour of mine since day 1 of this weight loss journey). I am super excited - I love chili and I love turkey.... nom nom nom.

I swear, I wouldn't be able to lose all this weight so far without my essential food crutches: Babybel light cheeses, greek yogurt, chili, veggie subway subs, green tea, stir-fry's sans rice or noodles, frozen dinners and skinny cow ice cream's.

What are the food items that make up the basis of your Weight Watcher friendly diet?

Back at 'er

FINALLY! Last night I managed to get my fat arse back to the gym and get a regular cardio workout in. It felt so good to get my heart rate up and pumping - I loved it.

However, when I got home from the gym, I was SO hungry - but had eaten all my points for the day. After much struggle, I did succumb to eating a late night snack of 24 crackers and two tablespoons of hummus which was extra delicious and then went to bed.

Tonight is the big weigh in and I am nervous about it - here's hoping that I lose!

Who's that girl?

This morning, as I was walking by my full-length mirror in my underwear getting ready for the day, I was like, "whoa - is that me?" And you know what: it was me!

I can notice a considerable difference in my mid section. At 233 pounds, I had a HUGE stomach - it was so disgusting that I couldn't even take "before" pictures. But now, the pudge is still there - but I am starting to see my waist again - and it is lovely!

It looks better in just my underwear - but i'm keeping it G-rated here:



This weekend I am just enjoying being under 200 lbs! It feels so great and is motivating me to keep up this wonderful new lifestyle i've adopted - yay!

Friday Treat Day

Since I began on this path to wellness, I've dedicated Friday's as my official "treat day" of the week - meaning that I go all out and buy a breakfast that is healthy and tasty.

This morning, I got a latte and poached eggs on spinach on a english muffin and some hashbrowns with a teaspoon of sourcream on top (YUM!):



ALSO! Another piece of good news is that my size 14 black dress pants are getting a little big on me (yay!) - I can't believe how quickly I am moving through these sizes. It seems like just yesterday I was in a size 18!





Now: weekend goal: Get my butt to the gym!

FREE DONUT!?! No Thank You!

That's right - this morning - I guess I looked especially tired as I dragged my fat arse through the Starbucks lineup, so the nice lady behind the counter asked me if I wanted a free donut! A FREE DONUT! It took all the will power I had to put my hands up and say "No thank you". You should have seen the look on her face - she was horrified that I would refuse a free Starbucks donut. After I said no, she then offered me a free mini-scone to which I replied, "no thanks" again. I walked away breaking that poor lady's heart, but patting myself on the back for not caving and falling victim to free samples of delicious fattening foods.

Oh - and with my tripple non-fat latte, which by the way is worth every fraction of it's three points:

Excuses, Excuses!

Here's the update: I didn't go to the gym as planned yesterday - and I didn't even go today! I spend every waking moment at work then over to the hospital to be with the beloved boyfriend. I hate that all this is putting my weight loss on hold and preventing me from devoting all my focus on myself :(

So here's the new game plan - Saturday morning - back to the gym hardcore. I can feel the difference in my body when I don't work out and I don't like the feeling. I have also not been eating my best *sigh* but at least I'm staying within in points allowance and tracking, tracking, tracking.

Trauma

I finally decided to take the day off work today because of all the crapbag stuff that is going on in my life.

My wonderful boyfriend is incredibly sick right now and spent all night in the trauma room of the hospital. I feel so bad for the poor guy. I'm taking today to compose myself and get ready to make it through the rest of the week.

It sucks that my Blog has been so depressing lately (why are you even reading this?) but - my blog runs parallel to my life and that is that.

I haven't gone to the gym yet this week - but am going to go today around 2pm and get in a basic workout just to keep my heart in shape and my metabolism running smoothly.

On the positive side of all this - I am now at 199 lbs! I busted through the 200's! I am so thrilled to have a "1" in front of my weight - I'm really starting to feel like me again. It's so great. In total I've dropped 34 pounds! I'm so proud of myself, but disappointed that all this is going on and preventing me from enjoying my success.

Lastly! Thanks bloggies for your comments on my last posts - I have come to the conclusion that you're all correct and that my other family members are just jealous of me - so I'm taking their jealousy as a complement! And: I have you guys and all my weight watchers buddies to applaud my success and you never let me down.

What's next? The 180's of course!

Loving being 199 pounds right now and fitting comfortably in all my size 14 dress pants! w00t! The main thing I've noticed is that if you're unable to exercise - there is no reason for you to give up on your diet!

Horribleness

This weekend was one big pile of stress due to the crapbag situation I've been put in.

The good news: i've been staying on plan and eating healthy this whole time and I think my crapbag issue will be resolved shortly (yippie). I also tried Greek yogurt for the first time this weekend and have fallen in love. Also, I think (according to my bathroom scale) that I have broken out of the 200's)

The bad news: I haven't been exercising nearly enough this weekend. I went for a two hour walk on Friday, but did nothing on Saturday or Sunday and tonight I have to take care of more crap so won't be able to go again this evening! This sucks because tonight is weigh in day! I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to do the official weigh in and see if i've broken through into onederland.

Here's to hoping that stress doesn't weigh anything!

Also, with all the family stuff that is going on this weekend - it was interesting. None of my extended family said anything about my weight loss - but rather, boasted about how well they were doing - one family member said she was riding her bike and lost 30 pounds since last year and another said that he has lost 15 pounds in the last few months just from eating healthy. I totally thought that they would be more impressed or supportive - but I guess they saw it more of a competition. It made me feel kind of shitty - if one of them had lost a pile of weight they had been struggling with for years, I would have said some supportive words to them. *sigh*

I suppose in the bigger picture it doesn't really matter - I am doing this for myself so I shouldn't expect other people to applaude me when I see them.

Get the Fack Out of This Funk!

That's right - I'm getting out of this funk i'm in as of right NOW.

I am a person who does well when I have some long-term and short-term goals. As you all know I post monthly short-term goals for my myself every month and work towards achieving them - and I have a long term goal weight to work towards but no long-term fitness goal to work towards other than "being fit and healthy". My long-term fitness goal is too vague and I need to narrow it down, and I did just that.

So, I've created a challenge for myself!

I have mentioned that I want to learn how to run - well - no more procrastinating here - I am going to force myself to learn how to do it now. My goal is to run a 5K (organized run if possible) every month until 2011.

This will give me something to look forward to every month (fitness-wise) and will help me get my mind off the numbers on the scale.

The first 5K i'll be participating in is:

June 27th - Scotiabank 5K (Vancouver)

So very excited - now get get my fat arse on the treadmill!

STRESS

Ah stress, I have not missed you. I'm going to be at the peak of my stress threshold until Sunday and to top it all off, my family is coming to stay with me in my one bedroom apartment for the weekend. *sigh*. Do you every feel like running away to Mexico, working at a margareta hut and living on the beach? Sometimes I wonder if life would be better if I moved to Mexico...

No gym for me tonight - very diappointed in myself - but I am going to drag my little sister to the gym for a good two hour workout tomorrow, totally going to kick her butt! She wont even see it coming.

Today at work there was a catered reception that I was obligated to attend and although I stuck to eating carrots and veggies, I did cave and have two slices of brie cheese and two slices of french bread (and some smoked salmon and 1 tortilla chip)! Went back to the office to log in the points on weight watchers, it all came out to 9 points! Yikes. I wont be making that mistake anytime soon again.

Even though I am continuing to stay on plan and exercising regularily, I somehow feel like I am not giving this my all. I know I can do better and WANT to do better - What do you think bloggies? At what point do you feel comletely satisfied with your weight loss performance? Do you ever feel like running away to Mexico to drink margaretas all the live long day?

Another Day, Another Workout

Well the crapbag is still hindering my life, but I was able to overcome my anxiety today and stay on plan. Not only did I continue to eat healthy and within my daily points allowance and drink my green tea this morning but I also went to the gym and did my cardio for 70 minutes (60 minutes is the norm plus 10 minutes that I cut off my workout from yesterday (make-up)). Although I am stressed mentally, physically I am feeling great!

Tonight I ran on the treadmill more than I ever have before - I think I just might get to my monthly goal and run for 2 full minutes without stopping at a speed of 5.5.

I am SO ready to be under 200 pounds. Tonight I weighed in at 202 lbs and am praying that I get under the 200-pound mark by the official weigh-in on Sunday night!

Lastly, I just want to note that for the first time in about a year I feel skinny. I look at my body and I am starting to see it become leaner and leaner. However, my expensiive beer gut is still there in a big way. I have got to trim that bad boy down!

Ever Come Home to a Pile of Crap?

When I got home from work today there was a pile of crap waiting for me at my door. Not literally of course - but I walked into my apartment and was immediately hit with a huge life problem that I have been though before and I know that it's going to be an uphill battle to get through it.

After getting home today I literally felt hopeless, helpless, lonely and felt as if this problem is way over my head. This was a serious blow to myself and I felt like life's crap had won and that I should just give up - after all this is all much bigger than me. So, immediately I crossed going to the gym off my list of things to do and prepared for the stress and worry that has now entered my life. In an attempt to calm myself down, I went for a drive - a 1 hour drive - and for the first 30 minutes I repeated aloud "I need help, I need help ..." over and over again, allowing my thoughts to fester in the fact that this issue is about to consume and hinder my life.

When I got back from my little car ride it was about 9pm (I had no appetite and skipped dinner) and I sat down, worrying some more and then a sudden change of attitude hit me. Suddenly I decided that if I have learned anything over the last two months - it is that I am in the drivers seat of my life and that I have the power not to just react to life's stupid situations - but to take control of them. After all I was the one who made the choice to get fit and healthy and I was the one who lost 30 pounds in the last two months among many other life accomplishments. Yes, this issue may be over my head - but maybe it's not. I have come too far to let a stupid pile of life crap stink up my life and I will not allow it to hinder my success and everything I have worked so hard for (even beyond that of weight loss). So, at 9:15pm, I filled up my water bottle, got into my lululemon pants and went to the gym - just to spit in lifes face and say, "give it all you got - because I will not let this break me - I am better than this!".

I ended up being at the gym for 50 minutes - 10 minutes short of my usual 1 hour cardio workout and it felt good. I worked out all my anger and in the last 20 minutes of the workout while on the treadmill began to devise a plan on how I am going to tackle this pile of crap life has thrown at my doorstep and take control. This will not defeat me!

The Dreaded Sample

Standing in the line up at Starbucks this morning, I was offered a sample of the Vanilla Bean Frappachino. I took it without thinking and as soon as I realized what I had done - with the mound of delicious buttery whipped cream sitting in my hands I knew I had to get rid of it! In the time it took for me to get out of the line up and toss that sucker away, I took 3 sips which I equate into about three tablespoons of the delicious piece of heaven. I then proceeded to buy my green tea and mosey on over to the office.

So, when I got back to the office, I looked up how many points are actually in a vanilla bean frappachino and *gulp* 8 points per tall size serving!

I recorded that I drank about 1 point worth of the wretched beverage. Old habits die hard - that's for sure! Even as I stood in the line up for Subway at lunch today (forgot lunch at home) I found myself debating over whether or not I should get a 6 inch or a footlong sub. The fat girl inside me was saying "do it - get the footlong". I knew that I only needed a 6 inch (especially for lunch) so I'm not sure why there was any question or doubt about what to order. I ended up getting the darn 6-inch sandwich - but seriously why is it so easy to fall back into old habits!

...Too Sweaty for My Shirt....

I'm too sweaty for my shirt, too sweaty for my shirt, too sweaty it hurts...

Okay, we'll maybe it didn't hurt but man oh man was it gross! For some reason I was sweating like a P.I. *friggin'* G. at the gym tonight - not sure why too - I just did my normal 30 min of elliptical and then 30 minutes on the bike. For some reason sweat was pouring out of every inch of my body - very disgusting. I got home and it looked as if I had just got home from swimming. *yuck*

The scale for some reason tonight had some beef with me - 204! What? I really hope I don't plateau before I reach 199! I feel like I have been working towards getting under 200 forever. Seriously 199 - just get here already! Enough with the games!

Tomorrow is the Biggest Loser - hopefully my body will be kind to me and allow me to work out for the full two hours that the show is on.

I've been skipping out on my morning green teas lately - which I think is to blame for my lack of weight loss (scale-wise). Starting tomorrow - I am re-committing to drinking two cups of green tea every morning.

'Cuz i'm a model, you know what I mean?

Oh - a new blog i've started reading made me giggle today - Michaela at Cupcakes to Carrotsticks - Seriously so cute!

Bad Case of the Mondays

What helps you get through Monday morning?

For me - A Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Latte does the trick!

Officially Down 30 Pounds!

Although I only lost 1 pound this week - that officially puts me at 203 - which means that since March 1 I have lost a total of 30 pounds!

At the gym tonight - I was suddenly struck with a horrible stomach ache and had to cut out early so I only managed to get a 45 minute work out in :(

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Devils Food = Cheese

Happy first day of May bloggies!

Today was an interesting day. I took on the role of "supportive cheerleader" for my friend who was making an offer on a house - that's right, not a condo, or even a townhouse a real house! I thought, going into the day that I was going to be struggling with some jealousy issues (because I have been looking into buying a condo for the last year), as well as fellings of disappointment in myself - but to my surprise - I was happy for her, and that was all.

This whole putting myself first mentality that I have been embracing is not only making me a fitter and healthier person, but it's also making me a better person overall. Today I felt very content with where I am in life (in comparison to my other friends) and am really sure of myself that not only will I reach my goal weight by December 31st as planned, but will also have found a condo for myself by that time as well and cleared off all my credit card debt.

I often have to stop and remind myself that life is not a competition, or a game to see who does best - because there is no way to measure who wins. With my new mentality, I am completely letting loose my inner selfish, self-centeredness and embracing loving myself and it feels really great.

Enough philosophy. Today was not the best eating day. I went out for lunch with my friend who is buying a house and ordered a veggie quesadilla with salad and with no sour cream and easy cheese. After sending the plate back to the kitchen three times (no kidding - how hard is it to make a quesadilla?) I endedup eating the quesadilla with way too much cheese on it. I am mad at myself for just eating it anyway - because I paid $12 for it and I should at least get what I ordered. Next time - I will send it back to the kitchen again if this ever happens again. After all, this does go against my principle of putting myself first - doesn't it! After I ate the pile of cheese on my plate, I had a horrible stomach ache and am now convinced that I am allergic to cheese (my own personal death penality). It's weird because I can drink milk and eat yogurt and Babybel light cheeses no problem - but the real cheese I ate today did not sit well. Also, when I used to eat whatever I wanted in copious amounts (i.e. cheese and more cheese) I used to ALWAYS have stomach aches. At 233 lbs, I remember always getting a sore stomach after a meal. What's the link? Cheese. Literally - food for thought here!

Lastly, I skipped a friends party tonight and went to the gym (feeling guilty about the pile of cheese I ate) and managed to burn a whopping 1400 calories! *pats self on back* It was 2 hours on the elliptical and I managed to squeeze in about 10 minutes worth of weights. One of my May goals is to do 30 minutes of weights / week. So, I have got to do the remaining 20 minutes tomorrow. And, I stepped on the scale (official weigh in isn't until tomorrow night though) and the number staring back at me was 202. I want to be 201 by tomorrow. I will make this happen - just you wait and see bloggers...

OH! and PS - all my size 14 work pants fit me like a glove now! AND I did the elliptical at a resistance of 6 for the whole two hours today - both these May goals didn't take long to tackle!