Me? A Mean Girl?

As I have mentioned I have been a little down in the dumps lately.

As weird as this sounds - I was watching "Being Erica" last night (a great show) and it dawned on me: I don't even know who I was 10 months ago. It dawned on me while watching this show because 10 months ago (while at 233 lbs) I zipped through season 1 and 2 of the show. I remember watching Being Erica back then and just feeling like crap, and thinking that I need to change.

I really do not like who I was back then - and I am mad at myself for getting to that stage - that far gone! Of course, no one who loves themselves would allow themselves to dig that deep of a hole to sit in! There is no way I had any respect for myself back then - and you know what? I am pretty darn tootin' mad at myself for not appreciating and respecting my body and mind.

Needless to say, I am holding a lot of anger right now - mad at myself. I really have no one to blame but myself.



So, having realized this - I MUST learn to forgive myself. I cannot hold all this inside me anymore - anger just breeds more anger, and I don't want any more of that in my life. I am done with living in anger.

Of course, I am a firm believer that in life, I must always put myself first. I have completely embraced (and am loving) this mentality... now. But back then... *sigh* this was not the case.

So, it's time that I forgive myself for being so mean to... well, me.