Tuesday, April 23, 2013

When All Else is Uncertain...

When my dad got sick last summer - I learned that he is not invincible. Oddly enough, I learned that he internalizes his stress and that takes a toll on your body.

I am, almost exactly a replica of my dad - except, I am female.

On Sunday night, I could hardly sleep, my brain was running on overdrive: thinking about the chaos that's going on at work, the Master's degree i'm about to start in September and life in general: where I am and where I wanted to be by the time I was 28, which I now am. I'm watching friends get married, have and raise children, buy houses... and i'm not doing any of that, mostly because I don't know if I want those things.

While I do have high expectations for myself, I feel like I am almost at a mid-life crisis... what should be my focus in life? I don't know. What do I want out of my life? I don't know. This feeling of unknowing is really annoying me and, for the first time in my life, I feel quite lost. This is a huge source of stress for me at the moment.

What I do know, is that losing weight and gaining health can do nothing but good for me. Last time I lost a lot of weight in 2010, I really found myself and that put all sorts of great things into motion for me. While I know that losing weight won't yield greatness in life - that is ultimately up to me, I don't think this path I'm on can do much harm.

So, while being early in the game, I'm putting trust in the fact that only good can come of all this: tracking my food, getting as much exercise in as possible... it will all amount to something in the end...


No comments:

Post a Comment