For some reason, this week has been a real tough one for me.
It seems as though all I want to do is purge. *Don't worry - I don't though.
Every time something stressful happens, or I get home from a a long day at work, or I settle in for the night to watch some TV or read a book, I have this uncontrollable urge to eat my face off. I'm not even joking: the thoughts that go through my head are the following:
"Maybe I should order a large pizza"
"I could go to the grocery store and buy a super-size bag of cheesies"
"I could get a brie wheel and a box of crackers and just go to town"
These ideas pop into my head and I have to tell myself, "Go ahead, do it, and by the end of this year you'll be back up to 233 pounds" and then I sit and sulk because I cannot binge myself into a food coma.
Why the hell do I think like this? Why is my first instinct always, "a gross amount of food will make me feel better"
I am slowly re-training my brain and reminding myself that food will not make me feel better, and in fact, it will make everything worse!
This week, in particular has been a rough one. But I am happy to report that I'm sticking to it, and not falling victim to the urge to binge!
I go through those thoughts all the time. I really feel like weight loss is more emotional and in your head, than it is physical. Thanks for sharing this, I've been feeling the same way too!
ReplyDelete